Woopsie Daisy...

11 months.

44 weeks.
About 340 days, my friends.
11 MONTHS.  I DIDN'T SHOP FOR 11 MONTHS!!!!
Yes, yes, I had set my goal for one whole year, and okay, I understand that in some of your eyes I may have failed, but it felt soooooooooooo good, you can't take that away from me.  I'm sorry if I let you down, but ELEVEN MONTHS!

Can you feel the RUSH!?

I felt myself starting to cave lately, detouring into clothing stores, (which I had avoided thus far, key to my success, and yes, that's right, I consider myself successful!), eyeing the racks, gently caressing the materials, fantasizing about what I'd buy in May.  Even my mother declared, "I'm not coming to town in May!"  (Smart lady, as she knew she'd be saddled with a huge bill.)  It was when I caught myself considering a hat purchase at the CAR WASH, that I realized, maybe this has gone too far, perhaps it's time I exercise my shopping muscle again.  So finally, one recent sun-soaked day at the Grove, I just blurted out, "OH 'EF IT!  How much can one consumer take?!"
In this voracious, vulnerable state I made the mistake, (or was it?), of walking into my go-to store, J. Crew, with my brother's amazing girlfriend, Lisa, http://lisachapmanfitness.com/, with whom I love to shop.  (My brother, however, was bored silly after talking to the geniuses at the Apple Store about, er, uh, whatever it was, I didn't care, I WAS SHOPPING!)  Lisa felt bad that I was falling off the wagon with her in tow, but I assured her that I felt A-MAAAAAA-ZING, and that my serotonin levels thanked her.  I had no regrets on this day.  It also happened that my main man at J. Crew, Max, was working that day, (that's right, I know the sales people by name, don't you?  It's about people, people!  Sheesh, reach out to your fellow human beings, why don't cha?!)
And Max knows me, I mean really knooooooooooooooooows me.  He knows what I like, what I should like, what colors my skin tone likes, and what I should stop liking.  I harken it to a good dance partner, you move together without talking, just the language of music taking you where you want to go....except, we do talk, like, a LOT!  He's my bud.  He knows my husband's name, he asks about Henry, he's HELD Henry, you get it, THIS is a good sales person, and, if you know me at all, I'm a sucker for good customer service.  I had a blast, it was a long time coming, and, frankly, I thought I had earned it.

All jokes (and pending credit card bill) aside, I learned quite a bit this past year.  For instance:

• I have a lot of clothes.  (I knew this, of course, but it was magnified in a different light.)
• Waste is not an option any longer.
• I need nothing, seriously, NO-THING.
• Embarrassingly, I spend much of my day in workout attire.
• I like cooking.
• I like reading.
• I love writing.
• I admit, I watch too much reality television.
• I love making a mean, healthy smoothie every morning for my family, as do they.
• I like the feeling of wearing out my clothes.  Seeing them fall apart is surprisingly satisfying.
• My friends and family are incredibly generous, supportive, and crafty.
• The most important thing to me is being the best mom I can be.  Corny sounding, yes, but true.
• I have a lot more to learn.  (Love you, Jere!)
• I can do better. 
• I love my life.

Smoothie Face

If You Build It, They Will Come....AND EAT!

I HAD A DINNER PARTY!
Alright, I know, people have been doing this all over the world since the end of time.  Cavemen and women invited other cave families over for raw bison and vegetation, but had you known me in New York City, you would:
a.)  Die of shock upon hearing I'm having a dinner party, or--
b.)  Quickly think of other plans you have that very same evening.

The idea of cooking for a group of people used to send me into a cold sweat.  Wait, who am I kidding?  I  didn't HAVE dinner parties, I just mooched off of others, (thanks Michael and Mary!), allowing them to feed me without ever reciprocating because I thought I was incapable.  (I assumed bringing a bottle of wine was appreciation enough.)

Well, I have an announcement to make---I CAN DO IT!!!

I'm always inspired and in awe of my friends when they have dinner parties.  Upon arrival, I watch intently, start drinking immediately, and wonder how they don't throw up, cut their fingers off, and have it all ready at the same time.  HOW?

My girlfriend, Katherine, had a lovely dinner party and served a meal I thought about for months.  Yes, it was that delicious.  Sure, the ambiance was great, it was a superb group of ladies, the margaritas, laughs and conversations were flowing, and I could WALK over, (nothing better when alcohol is involved), but really, at the end of the day, for me, it's all about the food.  I brought leftovers home to my hubby, and ever since then he's asked again and again, "When are you gonna try making that pulled pork?"  Well, my Jewish brethren, I made me some spicy pulled pork, and ya know what, Rabbi?  I'D DO IT AGAIN!

I've copied Katherine's menu completely from that night, (I hope I did her proud), and invited her along so she could see what it feels like to eat without all the prep work, relaxed...
This dinner is time-consuming, yes, but still very easy.  (Lots of choppin')  Bottom line, I did it, so anyone can.
Seriously.

It consisted of pulled pork, chopped tomato salad, avocado/mango guacamole, jicama salad, black beans, brown rice, and corn tortillas.  Can you say, "CROWD PLEASER!?"

Katherine and Ruthie, stuffed

Everything worked out perfectly, except...

1.)  My neighbors stored the pork in their fridge because mine was filled to the brim, and they weren't home so I couldn't get MY MEATS in time!  Yikes.  I hadn't pulled/shredded the pork yet, nor had I heated it up.  I started to sweat.

2.)  I was way behind in chopping, and our dear nanny, Isabel, refused to leave and helped me chop.  She has, once again, made herself indispensable to me.  Bless her heart.

3.)  And now the worst fumble.  I failed to mention to one of my guest vegetarians that I had made the black beans and brown rice in chicken stock.  CHICKEN stock!  Boo me.  Julie had ingested the food already, and I was too scared to ask her the last time she had an animal product in her body, but she did turn ashen and put her fork down.  HOSTESS DOWN!  She was such a good sport about it, and did not vomit, to my knowledge, but I do hope she'll come back.

**And a special THANK YOU to darling, Clark, who cleaned my entire kitchen after dinner for me.  What an unexpected treat!    The true test of a good man.  I thought Ruthie had trained him that way, but she said he came that way.  Very nice.  

Here are the recipes:

FIRST:
The pulled pork recipe is from "New Classic Family Dinner," by Mark Peel, the amazing chef from Campanile Restaurant in Los Angeles.  (Go there, please, if you like food and spending money on it!)

This recipe serves 12.  I went to my butcher and ordered 5 pounds of pork shoulder (or butt), and had him trim the excess fat off, and cut it into large chunks.  You can do this yourself, but I prefer to cut fat as little as possible, thank you very much.

Step 1:
(Spice Rub)  This happens two or three days before you want to serve.
1 Tbs coriander seeds
1 Tbs cumin seeds
2 tsp cracked black peppercorns
1 Tbs mild or hot ground chili powder
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 Tbs sweet paprika
1 Tbs kosher salt
2 Tbs canola oil

(Pork)
4 1/2 to 5 pounds pork butt or shoulder
1/4 cup canola oil
1 medium onion, chopped
   kosher salt
8 garlic cloves, peeled
1 1/2 cups water

Heat a frying pan over medium heat and add the coriander and cumin seeds.  Toast, shaking the pan often, until the spices smell fragrant and a bit like popcorn.  Add the pepper, chili powder, cayenne, and paprika, stir together briefly, and remove from the heat.  Transfer to a small bowl and allow to cool for 5 minutes.  Grind the spices in a spice mill to a coarse powder, (I used a coffee bean grinder).  Add the salt and mix together well.

Place the meat in a bowl and toss with 2 tablespoons canola oil and the spice mix.  Knead the meat well to work in the spices.  Transfer to a bowl, (or ziplocs), cover and refrigerate for 1 or 2 days.  (I did this on Wednesday, cooked the pork on Friday, served it on Saturday.)

Behold, the Marinated Pork

Step 2:
Now to cooking the pork.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Heat a large heavy saucepan or Dutch oven over high heat and add 1 tablespoon of oil.  Working in batches and adding oil as necessary, brown the meat lightly on all sides and remove to a different bowl.  Turn down the heat to medium and add the remaining oil, the onion, and 1/2 teaspoon salt, and cook, stirring to deglaze the bottom of the pot, until the onion is tender, about 5 minutes.  Add the garlic, the pork, the juices that have accumulated in the bowl, and 1 1/2 cups water.  Bring to a simmer, cover, and place in the oven.

Before going into the oven

Cook for 2 hours in the oven, stirring from time to time, or until the meat is very tender and can be pulled apart with a fork with no effort.  Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly, or chill overnight and lift off some of the fat if you wish, (I did not wish).

Step 3:
Reheat the next day before serving.  It was so tender that I just pulled it apart with my fingers and put it over a low heat for maybe 15-20 minutes.  It heated up pretty quickly.

SECOND:
Jicama, radish, and pickled shallot salad with feta
Ooof, this salad is addictive.  Crunchy and zesty in all the right places.  Listen up.  This recipe serves 4, but I tripled it.  I like me some leftovers!

2 small shallots, cut in half crosswise and then thinly sliced lengthwise
3 Tbs red wine vinegar
   Kosher salt
5 medium radishes, trimmed, quartered lengthwise and then cut crosswise into 1/4-inch slices
1 medium jicama (about 1 pound), peeled and cut into 1/2-inch dice
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 Tbs fresh lime juice
1 tsp. honey
1/4 tsp. finely grated lime zest
   Freshly ground black pepper
   Pinch of cayenne
2 Tbs. grapeseed oil
1/2 cup crumbled feta

In a small bowl, combine the shallots with the red wine vinegar and 1/4 tsp. salt; let sit until the shallots have mellowed and turned a light pink, about 15 minutes.  Strain the shallots and discard the liquid.  (I did this step the night before.)

In a medium bowl, toss the shallots, radishes, jicama, cilantro, and a pinch of salt.

In a small bowl, whisk the lime juice, honey, lime zest, 1/4 tsp. salt, a few grinds of black pepper, and a pinch of cayenne.  Gradually whisk in the grapeseed oil.  (I also did this the night before and stored it in the fridge.)

Toss the dressing with the vegetables. Fold in the feta and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Nice coloring, very key

The tomato salad is super easy:
Chop a ton of grape tomatoes, 1/2 a white onion, cilantro, lime juice, salt and pepper, a glug of olive oil.
Same is true for the guacamole concoction:
Big chunks of avocado, diced mango, (about 2/3 avocado, 1/3 mango), chop 1/2 a white onion, cilantro, lime juice, salt and pepper, and a dash of chili powder for a little kick.

I won't bore you with the black beans and brown rice, any questions, fire away, but these are things I keep in the fridge almost always, and mix with a plethora of foods.  Good stuff.

Here's the plate.  I ate every bite.  I also heated up a skillet and warmed up some corn tortillas, offered a little shredded monterey jack cheese, and everyone served themselves, which is a perk at a dinner party, and kind of fun, I think.

EPILOGUE:

Probably the smartest thing I did at this here dinner party was invite my dear friend, Ruthie, who is sooooooooooo naturally talented in the kitchen, it's sickening.  And, thankfully, when given the choice to bring desert or wine, she chose desert.  We all benefitted.  She brought a homemade, cold lemon souffle with butter, almond cookies.  Wow.  I wish I could share a picture with you, but it was gone waaaaaaaaaaay too quickly.  Perfection.

As is this group.  Thanks for comin'!

Sucky Soup

Woops.  Jere swears he liked it, and even Henry, wearing only a diaper tonight, slurped it down like a white trash 2 year old, but I think I really F'd up this soup.  I'm told this couldn't be easier, (which makes me feel like an even bigger loser), but everyone says, "Soups are SO easy!"  Well I say, "Kiss my ass."  Yes, I know I'll figure it out, try, try again, pull myself out of this self-loathing cooking moment, and get to the bottom of this meal that I so want to master, but today, I'm just not there.  MOM DOWN!

Cowboy Eatin' Fool

Perhaps y'all can help me.

I chopped a whole onion, a few carrots, a few stalks of celery, and 4 cloves of garlic.
Heated some EVOO and sauteed the above items.
Added two bags of broccoli florets, then filled it with water so as to just cover the veggies.
Added a half a tub of miso, (I chose the red kind, but have NO idea what the differences are), then ended up adding the entire tub of miso because it was still a little watery and tasteless.  And YES, I added lots of salt and pepper, but at some point you have to stop, right?!
I continued heating up the whole pot until the broccoli was soft, then blended all the ingredients together into a puree.
At that point, I threw in a couple of dashes of crushed red chili peppers and a couple of glugs of sesame oil, lord knows why, I was grabbin' at straws!

The end result?  Very average.

Help me, people!  Was it just a matter of adding less water?  I was told you can't add chicken broth when you're using miso because they don't get along, so what's up?  Please send me any and all helpful hints, recipes, beat-downs, I can take it.

Oh and by the way, the real kicker, if you'd like to come over and have a taste for yourselves, I have a SHIT TON of it in my fridge!  Cue music, "I'm a loser baby..."

Don't be a CHICKEN SH*T!

Up until recently, not only did I have ZERO idea how to roast a chicken, but the simple act of cooking a whole chicken essentially freaked me out, intimidated me into a state of cooking paralysis.  My fears ranged from undercooking to overcooking, carving to cleaning, widespread Salmonella, and, not the very least, having it taste just god awful.

People, listen up.  Are you listening?  THIS IS SOOOOOOOO EASY and delicious!!!

So delicious, in fact, that I don't even have any "after" pictures from the other night because we were so voracious when the chicken came out of the oven.  The smell had enveloped the house and intoxicated us, so we ate...  I completely forgot to photograph the cooked bird.  (my apologies)

Henry patiently waits

My dear friend, Amy, has held my hand through this recipe of hers many times, because I'm so mental about it.  I call her every time to practice a verbal dry-run, and she listens every time, no judgement.  She's a good friend.

Preheat oven to 375 or 400 degrees, depending on your oven, and how fast you want to cook your chicken.
This is a 5 pound organic chicken, and I cooked it for about an hour and fifteen minutes.

Rinse chicken and pat dry.  Palm some kosher salt inside the chicken cavity, shove a couple/few stems of rosemary and thyme inside as well.  Rub some extra virgin olive oil on the outside of chicken, along with kosher salt and pepper, and place it breast side down in a baking dish/pyrex.  Meanwhile...

Boil a big pot of water and put the quartered potatoes in, (these are organic golden potatoes, but you can use any kind), also toss about 6, 7, or 12! cloves of garlic in the water, skins on, and a whole lemon.  Once the potatoes are easily pierced with a fork, drain the water.  (This usually takes about 5 minutes or so.)  Take the lemon in a set of tongs ('cause she's hot!) and pierce it so the juices shpritz out, then quickly shove the spraying lemon into the bird, and put the garlic cloves inside the cavity as well.  Surround the bird with the potatoes in a couple glugs of olive oil, kosher salt, pepper, and, if I have it, I sprinkle them in dill.

Here she is "before:"

HA!  I fear thee no longer!

And you're DONE!  Put 'er in the oven, and visit 'er in an hour.  At that time, cut into the skin, look at the meat, and if the juices run clear, it's time to eat.  I usually put it in for another 15 minutes, just to be sure.  Momma's still a little paranoid.

Hey listen, it occurs to me that I could be alone here, and everyone's roasting chickens right and left, but just in case, and to make my little inner-Oprah proud, if I can help just one person with this post, it will have been worth it.  I'm a giver.

Late Addition:  My friend, Blythe, commented that she puts her chicken in breast side up, so I consulted the Queen, Alice Waters.  Here's what she writes, and I will definitely be trying this technique next time.  Thanks Blythe!  
Put chicken in breast side up; and roast for 20 minutes, then turn the chicken breast side down. Turning the chicken helps it cook evenly by circulating the juices and fat throughout the bird and allows the skin to brown and crisp all over. After another 20 minutes turn the chicken breast side up again and roast until done.
Anyone else?  How do you put your chicken in the oven?  Do tell.

Hungry For Something NEW-ish

My Creation

     This isn't exactly a "recipe," as it were, but I feel like it qualifies as a.) a great idea, b.) something I created, and c.) something I was HUNGRY FOR.  So there!  If you remember, I'm not shopping for myself for one year, (3 months to go, but who's counting!!?), and so I've had to get creative.
     There's this great jewelry store here in Los Angeles on Larchmont called Sonya Ooten, http://www.sonyaooten.com/.  Sonya's a lovely lady, and a wonderful designer with innovative, modern, edgy ideas, coupled with class and elegance.  Needless to say, the necklace I was slobbering over was a.) out of my price range, (even if I were shopping), and b.) have I mentioned I'm not shopping?  Shit.  It was this gorgeous, flat, oval-shaped piece, filled with pave, champagne diamonds, looked kind of vintage, and sat perfectly just below the 'ole clavicle.  (Yes, I tried it on, and yes, I'm dumb.)  I couldn't stop thinking about it.  I visited it from time to time, would try 'er on, even introduced 'er to my mother!  It was getting bad.  Wait, see for yourself:

The Obsession

     Oy, this was a difficult one.  "How many days exactly until May 1st?"  Should I start putting the 2 grand away now?"  This kind of thinking was not helping me.  For the most part, I don't go into stores these days, it's just too tempting, (note earlier reaction to diamond necklace), but I had to pick up a repair from Sonya, and, well, I'm only human.  Then I remembered, I have this vintage pin that's kind of the same shape as this necklace, and who wears pins?  This particular pin stays pinned to a jacket I ALSO never wear.  So Sonya took the pin-back off, ordered this perfect, vintage, silver chain, and attached it to the piece.  (Some of you out there, no doubt, can attach your own chain, cutting out the middle-woman, but I'm just not that handy.)
 I am THRILLED with my new invention, I wear it all the time, people compliment me on it whenever I wear it, and even my son says, "Put this on."  Okay, so it's not the mouth-watering Sonya Ooten necklace, but it's doin' the trick, and I think it's quite the little show-stopper, if I do say so myself.  (Thanks for the inspiration, Sonya!)
Just a little idea that you too can add to your very own jewelry collection.  Look around in your drawers, (or on jackets), for pins you never wear, and turn them into necklaces.
You're welcome!

Happiness is, getting a new accessory

Orecchiette w/Sausage, Kale & Beans, Oh My!

I'm SO glad we had company last night with our good friends and family, as opposed to watching the insufferable Golden Globe awards, (which I did so later on, and even with the fast forward button it was never-ending!)  When will I learn?  Well, what I DID learn was how to make a terrific pasta dish.  My girlfriend/neighbor, Alex, passed her leftovers along to me in a little tupperware bowl last week, just enough for all of us to have a taste, which left us desperately wanting more, so I asked her to pass along the recipe.

I don't have any pictures yet because our resident photographer last night, Tait, was using this thing called FILM.  That's right, that archaic novelty, 35mm film, which you can't download immediately into your computer, imagine that!  I hadn't heard this in a long time, "We have to finish this role so we can develop our Mexico pictures."  Adorable.  Maybe we'll see them someday...


(I doubled this recipe, and almost mistakenly TRIPLED it because I always get nervous I won't have enough, and the people will go hungry.  Must be the oppressed Jew in me...  There was PLENTY for 8 adults, with leftovers to boot; also, I like a lot of kale, so I added a little more than this, maybe an additional 1/2 a bunch.)

1 bunch kale, stemmed, leaves chopped
3 tbls evoo
1 onion chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 lb sweet italian sausage, casings removed & meat crumbled
1/2 c. dry white wine
1 lb orecchiette
1 (16 oz ) can cannellini beans, drain and rinsed
1 c. grated parm

1. start the water for the pasta

2. combine kale and 2 cups water in large microwavable bowl, cover, and microwave til leaves are tender... the recipe called for 8 mins, but mine only took about 4 - I also didn't want it yucky looking and too wilted. after cooked, drain in strainer and press to remove excess water.

3. heat 1 tbls oil in large skillet over med-high heat, cook onion until soft, add garlic, cook for another 30 seconds, add sausage until no longer pink, add wine and cook until reduced by 1/2, 2-3 mins.

4. meanwhile, cook the orecchiette until al dente in salted water, save 1 cup of pasta water, drain the pasta, stir in w/sausage mixture, kale, beans and reserved cooking water and simmer until ingredients are heated through, toss w/some olive oil and parm, salt and pepper to taste and serve.

****NEW ADDITION TO THIS POST:

As promised, here are the pics from Tait, quite timely may I say.  Who knew FILM could be developed so quickly?!

Christine and I marveling at the toasting pignoli nuts, while I stir the onions.  
That's right, doin' two things in the kitchen at once!

Italian pork sausage, out of it's casing.  That's my step-son, Lucas.
He's always a GREAT help in the kitchen.

Hubby, Jere, sportin' a sweet 'stache.

A crocodile from Tait and Christine's trip to Mexico.

This dish is super easy, everyone loved it, the kids, and even Gillian, our vegetarian, picked around the sausage because it was so inviting.  I used a brown rice pasta for a bit of an added health option, and it was still  really good.  We served it with a simple salad, (thanks Lucas), delicious garlic bread, (thanks Christine and Tait), and finished it off with a delightful selection of sorbets, (thanks Ronobir, Yuka and Kai).  The perfect night, sans Golden Globes, avec friends, baby, toddler, and babies to come...(you know who you are).

Another Mouth to Feed

Welcome home (sort of) Bode Burns

Okay, so when your husband comes home and says, "Let's get a dog," and he's THIS cute, and so is your husband, AND you have a 2 1/2 year old son, try your very hardest to look past the puppy's droopy eyes, the extra skin, the mammoth paws, and the puppy breath.  The shit is HARD.  There ain't two ways around it.  The feeding is the least of our responsibilities, and frankly, my main squeeze is doing most of the dirty work, but, and there's a HUGE but...when said hubby is employed out of the state, even worse, in HAWAII, that's when the hard work and regret sets in.  Well, work is work, so my man packed up his surf board and headed off for an 8 day job in Oahu, working 2, surfing 6.  Now, I know these are first world problems, but I had family visiting, no preschool for Henry, our nanny on vacation, pink eye on the kid, and a 3 month old puppy.  As my people say, "oy vey."  At one point, on the phone with Jere in Hawaii, in the midst of bathing, chasing, and feeding in the evening, he says to his bartender, "Could I get another chunk of pineapple, please?"  Really?  Needless to say, when my tanned, rested hubby came home and picked up mucho household slack, for a full day at least, I was haggard.  In my kooky stupor, I could have sworn I heard him sigh deeply when having to take Bode for a walk in the rain.  I figured, here's my opening:

Int.  Kitchen.  Day. 

Me

Honey, are you regretting this decision?

Hubby

What decision?

Me

Oh, I thought you were really frustrated with Bode, and if you are...

Hubby

What are you talking about?

Me

I don't know, if you think we got a dog too soon...

Hubby

Yeah?

Me

Well, there are ways to rectify the situation if we maybe jumped the gun, with Henry being so young and all...

Hubby

(Long pause)  Are you asking me if I could get rid of a member of our family?!

Me
What?  No, no way, I just thought... Never mind.  Me too, ME TOO!  Bode and Henry are totally brothers!

Listen, I'm embarrassed I could have such thoughts.  I consider myself an extreme dog-loving person.  A person who has lived with many dogs, and lost them all eventually, obviously, and I wouldn't trade those relationships for anything.  But in a moment when your house feels like it's swallowing you whole, you're slipping in dog pee every five minutes, and all you want is to be alone with your son, bathing him, all eyes on him, you kind of lose your mind.  At least I did.

Right now Bode is lying on my lap, dreaming of chasing something, and it feels amazing.  I know my son and he will have an incredible relationship for a good, long time, and yes, so will Bode and I.  Like Jere said, a member of our family.

My rain-loving boys

A Whole Latke Love!

I may have a devil child.  "Loving," isn't exactly how the evening started out.  I was busy fryin' up the latkes, (recipe later, oy, they were delish!), when all of a sudden I see my friend, Jill's, face drop as she witnesses Henry raise his plastic bus up high, and strike her son, Jack, on the head with it.  Not a bonk, not a tap, a full-forced blow to the noggin.  There was blood...and a bump, and a whole latke embarrassment on my part.  I felt horrible, who IS this child?!  These boys have been SO loving with one another since they met a year and a half ago, you can imagine my mortification.

Better days between Henry and Jack

Jack was crying, Henry started crying, Jill and I started crying, (thank you, Liv, for not joining in on the tears with us!), and, needless to say, this wasn't how I remembered the first night of Hannukah....  BUT we got through it,  (thanks mostly to the calm Daddy's present), the O'Brien's stayed, no emergency room visit necessary, but I'm pretty sure Jack's afraid of our house now.  (Our new puppy terrorized him last time.)  Remarkably, the night turned around quite nicely, after Henry was allowed out of his room, hugged Jack, and said he was sorry.  Oy, the tsuris.  Had the latkes not been divine, the whole evening might have been a bust.

Post-abuse

From the amazing cookbook my friend, Marla, swears by:  Jewish Home Cooking, by Arthur Schwartz.
1 pound of russet (baking) potatoes
2 eggs
1 medium onion, peeled and cut into chunks
1/4 to 1/3 cup matzo meal
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Pinch of cream of tartar (optional)
Peanut, corn, or canola oil for frying

(I doubled this recipe, so I was at the stove for quite a while, but there were VERY few leftover, thank you very much!)

Peel the potatoes, cut them into chunks and place them in a bowl with cold water.  This keeps them from browning, but don't leave them there for longer than 2 hours.
Beat the eggs.  Throw the onions into a food processor fitted with the metal "S" blade, pulse until very finely chopped, almost a puree.  Scrape the onions into the bowl with the eggs and mix.
Drain the potatoes, then set a strainer over a bowl.  In the same processor, (no need to clean it), process the potatoes until very finely chopped, but still with some texture.  Immediately scrape them into the strainer.  With the back of a big, wooden spoon or something, press out the moisture so it drains into the catch bowl.  Immediately stir the potatoes into the egg mixture.  Throw away the lovely juices.  Add matzo meal, salt, pepper and cream of tartar.  Stir well and let stand while the oil is heating.
Heat about 1/8 inch of oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat until very hot.  But not so hot that it splatters wildly.  Spoon out the batter for each pancake, about a 1/4 cup or less.  The batter should sizzle as soon as it hits, if the edges of the batter separate, the oil it too hot, and if if there are just slight bubbles, the oil is not yet hot enough.
Fry the latkes for about 4 minutes on the first side, watch the edges get nice and brown, and slightly less time on the second side.  They should be pretty darn brown before flipping them, 'cause you only want to flip 'em once.  I set out paper towel to put them on, let them drain some of the oil out after cooking.  I also cover them with a towel to keep them warm, but you'll want to serve them as soon as possible.
You know the drill from there, apple sauce and sour cream, I dare you to eat just one.

Happy Hannukah!

Yummy!

Beets Me!

I always have this delicious salad in my refrigerator, I eat it ALL the time.  It's quite the popular pot-luck dish, if you're in need, and what's our favorite word, people?  E-Z!  Wicked easy, as my Boston-bred hubby would say, (but he doesn't like beets, who IS this man?!)  I made this up, here 'tis:
First, you roast the beets.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  I use large beets, and I generally roast three at a time.  Place them in a baking dish with about an 1/8 inch of water on the bottom, salt, and cover with tin-foil.  Cook for 45 minutes to an hour, depending on the size of the beets, they're ready when a fork easily pierces them.  Take them out and let them cool.
At the same time, make two cups of quinoa.  (Read the package, it's 2 to 1, come on, even I know this!)
Once the beets have cooled, the skins will peel off very easily with your fingers, and, just f.y.i., your hands WILL get beet red.  Gotta get dirty!
Dice the beets, dice cucumbers, chop some dill, smash some walnuts, crumble some feta cheese, and add all of this to the quinoa.  I mix in some olive oil and either red wine vinegar or balsamic vinegar, but any favorite salad dressing will do, salt and pepper, toss it all together and chill.
I eat this with a scoop of tuna, some grilled chicken, a veggie burger or turkey burger, it's really yummy and satisfying, also very enjoyable on it's own, you choose.  I dare you to not keep whipping this up!

Hi my name is Leslie, and I'm addicted to...

MY VITAMIX!!!

Our spicy, tomato, veggie morning juice

Is this gorgeous or what?!
Okay fine, GUILTY, I actually follow things that Gwenyth Paltrow likes, uses, and passes along to her followers, but there are SO many chefs that swear by the VitaMix, I just had to indulge, and SWEET BABY JESUS, it's astonishing.  It can do so much, (yes, peanut butter), and WAY more than I know or have experimented with thus far, but there's something I make every morning for my family, juice.  It's awesome, you can sneak in greens and things that a lot of kids won't touch with a ten foot pole, AND it's not a juicer, so it's beyond easy to clean, but it's more than a blender because it purees the hell out of everything.  Whether it be a fruit smoothie or a juice, you can put so much in that's not detectable, even cabbage, blech, and no one's the wiser.
This particular juice consists of:
4-6 Tomatoes
1/2 Carrot
Bunch of Kale
Bunch of Spinach
Couple Slices of Ginger
One Stalk of Celery
2 Splashes of Cholula Hot Sauce
2 Tablespoons of Chia Seeds
Ice

Blending in "Lincoln Park After Dark" nail color

The whole family wakes up and enjoys a juice

Obviously, I'm not THAT vain, because this here is me in the morning for all to see.  Oy.
Oh, and cleaning this sucker, all you do is put in some water and a squirt of soap, hit the blender, (don't forget the top!), let it run a minute and rinse her out.  HELLO!  She's not a cheap machine, but I believe it's a great investment, one that'll be around a long time.  It's got a 5-7 year warranty, and I recommend calling Vitamix directly rather than buying it in a store, because they're so helpful, have great deals, and shipped it to me FREE!  (You may be getting the point that I love FREE!)  www.Vitamix.com 1-800-848-2649.