Sucky Soup

Woops.  Jere swears he liked it, and even Henry, wearing only a diaper tonight, slurped it down like a white trash 2 year old, but I think I really F'd up this soup.  I'm told this couldn't be easier, (which makes me feel like an even bigger loser), but everyone says, "Soups are SO easy!"  Well I say, "Kiss my ass."  Yes, I know I'll figure it out, try, try again, pull myself out of this self-loathing cooking moment, and get to the bottom of this meal that I so want to master, but today, I'm just not there.  MOM DOWN!

Cowboy Eatin' Fool

Perhaps y'all can help me.

I chopped a whole onion, a few carrots, a few stalks of celery, and 4 cloves of garlic.
Heated some EVOO and sauteed the above items.
Added two bags of broccoli florets, then filled it with water so as to just cover the veggies.
Added a half a tub of miso, (I chose the red kind, but have NO idea what the differences are), then ended up adding the entire tub of miso because it was still a little watery and tasteless.  And YES, I added lots of salt and pepper, but at some point you have to stop, right?!
I continued heating up the whole pot until the broccoli was soft, then blended all the ingredients together into a puree.
At that point, I threw in a couple of dashes of crushed red chili peppers and a couple of glugs of sesame oil, lord knows why, I was grabbin' at straws!

The end result?  Very average.

Help me, people!  Was it just a matter of adding less water?  I was told you can't add chicken broth when you're using miso because they don't get along, so what's up?  Please send me any and all helpful hints, recipes, beat-downs, I can take it.

Oh and by the way, the real kicker, if you'd like to come over and have a taste for yourselves, I have a SHIT TON of it in my fridge!  Cue music, "I'm a loser baby..."